I definitely know what you mean. I have trouble getting close to most girls I like because I have a fear of getting to know them and then things ending when they find out about my past. You're right. If they would really come to love me, they would stick around. Boy, I needed to hear that... Thanks. Well written by the way.
And I live on the nightshift, my mind is always racing with thoughts like this. It's not just a few nights like you though, it's every night. I sleep an average of four hours every night. The rest is just tossing and turning.